


That Which is Difficult

by tnico



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Feral Lambert, Gen, Humor, Kaer Morhen, POV Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, just guys being dudes, smidge of himbo geralt, wolf lad antics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnico/pseuds/tnico
Summary: Though we are always like this,neither of us bothers the other:each of us likes his craft,rejoicing alone each in his.He it is who is master for himselfof the work which he does every day.I can perform my own task,directed toward understanding clearly---- Pangur Bán
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert
Comments: 35
Kudos: 227





	That Which is Difficult

When Geralt's invitation to winter with him at Kaer Morhen is finally extended, Jaskier simply cannot help himself from leaping up from where he sits and pumping his fist in the air.

"Finally!" he declares in triumph.

"You were angling for it," Geralt says with a shrug.

"Had I angled any harder I'd have ended perpendicular," Jaskier agrees, dropping his arms and resettling his finery.

"Thought angling was reference to fishing," Geralt says, after a moment to consider.

"Oh, it is, they're different cognates," Jaskier confirms. "But I'm terrible at fishing and not half-bad at contorting myself in various manners both metaphorical and physical to get where I'd like, so I've adjusted it for my personal vocabulary."

Geralt snorts and shakes his head. "Personal vocabulary. Right."

"I don't criticize your hobbies, Geralt, and I could, you know. They're all dreadfully boring ones like fishing."

* * *

Once he's had the time to bask in his success, it's time to dust himself off and make a plan of attack.

This is hardly a pleasure-trip, after all. Had Jaskier wanted for that, he'd have taken the nearest court's offer and spent his winter redolent in the usual wine, women and song. From Geralt's ever-sparing descriptions of the mountain hold and its inhabitants, Jaskier'll better expect hard liquor, hardheaded men, and harsh weather.

But an artist who suffers has only more tools, or so that's what he tells himself when breaking in new shoes. A chance to immortalize a fading breed of man, the twilight of an age that needed heroes, would be worth the risk of cold toes and chilly reception.

If the witchers of Kaer Morhen are anything like Geralt, it's going to take some careful handling.

* * *

Jaskier had tried his best to not rely on the preconception, but he can admit that he's honestly surprised that none of them are really like Geralt at all.

(Well, Vesemir and Geralt really are a bit alike, but Jaskier had realized soon enough, with absolute delight, that it was actually _Geralt_ who'd ended up like Vesemir, when it came to those parts. If nothing else, having the fact Geralt was a _teacher's pet_ in his arsenal made the trek up worth it.)

But apparently all Vesemir really needed to be won over was Geralt vouching for him and then proving his various capabilities. Straight-forward and meritocratic, much like the man. Eskel had been amiable from the start, if trending a bit over-polite. They'd gotten along well right off, he'd thought, when Eskel had very helpfully confirmed his building theory that Geralt had been a teacher's pet.

And then there's Lambert. Lambert, whose sum total response to Jaskier's arrival was to pause on the way past an open door, stare at him for a disconcertingly inhuman length of time to go without blinking, make an incoherent-but-derisive noise in his throat, and stride off.

Jaskier's surprised further when it starts to seem like wherever he is, Lambert isn't. He's not just being ignored, he's being avoided. Geralt, for all that he's got the emotional intuition of a brick wall, at least has the grace to stay still and allow such walls to be scaled. It hadn't really occurred to Jaskier that there could be a man there who could make himself even more difficult to befriend than Geralt had been; he rather thought that would be the bar.

But then there's Lambert.

* * *

He goes to Geralt about it first.

"Is it bothering you?" he asks.

"Well, yes, I was rather affronted at the start," Jaskier admits. "Not _mortally_ , but I like the not-judging-based-on-basic-nature to go both ways, ideally. But then I realized his compulsion to avoid being near me could be used to functionally herd him to wherever I choose, should I plan my route right. A bit like those hunting pantomime games they play at in court, really. It's added a fair bit of fun to learning to get around. I like to think I've learned a good amount already on the man's thought-process from the innovation to his escapes, but I was hoping you'd know more."

"I have never once correctly guessed what's going on in his head," is all Geralt has to quite gravely ( _and_ quite gravelly, oh, that could be a bit fun, shelve it for later--) inform him. it's unhelpful, but admittedly unsurprising.

* * *

"Is Lambert truly so inscrutable of motive, or is Geralt simply exceptionally emotionally thick?" Jaskier asks Eskel as soon as he is able. There truly are such benefits to sharing a friend with someone. Always nice to be able to compare notes.

"Both can be true," Eskel confirms, with one of the barely-there smiles the Wolves so favor. Yet again: unhelpful, unsurprising, etc. etc.

"Have you any wise advice for me, then? I'd keep following him, but he's quite the adept climber."

Eskel thinks on it. "You could bait him into a trap," is all the counsel he has to offer.

"What, a real-- of course a real trap. Well. That seems like it'd start us off on the wrong foot."

"Mh. He'd be livid," Eskel says. "But it's the only way we've ever been able to corner him when he doesn't want to be cornered."

That's probably about the best Jaskier's going to get, he reflects. Friendly or not, the man tends towards the same distinctly witcher-y approach to problems as his brothers do.

* * *

He tries to ask Vesemir to round it out. He presumes the man is as much wise mentor to Lambert as he is Geralt and Eskel in those times the youngest witcher isn't studiously avoiding being in the near vicinity of Jaskier.

He doesn't even get the question out before Vesemir calmly reaches out and puts a hand over Jaskier's mouth. The shock of it does much more to silence him than the act does.

Vesemir doesn't say anything. He simply shakes his head, something timeworn and solemn in his eyes. It's understated, but Jaskier knows well how to read a dramatic cue. He nods and doesn't ask Vesemir anything more on the matter.

* * *

So then: it'll have to be a trap. But a subtle one. He doesn't often have much cause for subtlety, but it's never looked that hard.

* * *

"Oh, Geralt-- here, come see."

The voice comes from the courtyard, so Geralt goes. Jaskier's standing at the base of the lone tree still standing. He waves Geralt over with an excitable enthusiasm. "I've finally managed to chase Lambert right up this tree and now he's got nowhere to go."

Geralt wanders over. "Hm. Have you?"

_"NO,"_ comes a voice from directly abovewards.

"Yes," Jaskier cheerily confirms.

Geralt looks up. Lambert, balanced on a fairly precarious throne of branches, glares balefully back down at them both. His eyes are sheened with reflected light in the gloom of the canopy and his expression is vaguely murderous.

"I don't think I'll ever really understand him," Geralt sighs.

"Like you ever could, jackass," Lambert snaps.

"I'll bet _I_ could, was I given the chance," Jaskier says upwards, going for a winning grin.

Lambert's only reply is a long, distinctly bestial snarl.

"Come now, you can't use that as your response to _everything,_ " Jaskier says exasperatedly.

Lambert swings a leg over one of the thicker branches he's commandeered so he can cling to it like the wolverine he'd already been mimicking and point downwards at the bard with acidic accusation. "Your human _wants_ something from me, Geralt! I can tell!"

"Your attention?" Jasker offers.

"He wants your attention," Geralt relays upwards. This playing of the messenger between two people who can hear each other is putting in mind his time minding the younger cohorts. The tree's really grown since then, he notes, though apparently the same can't be said for Lambert.

"Well tell him he can't have it!!" Lambert fumes.

Geralt turns to Jaskier. "He says--"

"I heard," Jaskier cuts him off with a raised hand, then cups both of them around his mouth. "Hello, Lambert! Please consider: arguably, the fact that I'm able to chase you up a tree means I've already _got_ your attention."

_"You didn't chase me up a tree,"_ Lambert insists.

Jaskier gives Lambert an incredulous look, then gestures at the tree, followed by another gesture back towards where Lambert's perched above. He looks to Geralt for confirmation. Geralt nods.

"And you can shut the _fuck_ up, Geralt," Lambert hisses.

Geralt shrugs.

"Regardless of protestation, the body of evidence is still currently up a tree at this very moment," Jaskier reminds. "Is this how you generally solve your problems?"

"Well," Geralt answers, "Not since he was small."

"You knew him when he was small, Geralt? I suppose you would have. Oh, are there familial anecdotes? Oh, Geralt-- there _are_ anecdotes, aren't there."

"Not one _anecdote,_ Geralt! Do you hear me!!" Lambert warns.

"Really, wouldn't it be easier for you to just let me get to know you?" Jaskier calls upwards. "I've spent enough time with Geralt well enough, I know there's nothing to really be afraid of from a witcher."

Lambert sneers, canines flashing in the gloom. "And _what_ about watching a witcher work through the year would make me think I'd _want_ one of you humans around in the only time I ever get _away_ from you fucks," Lambert returns, heaped with abject scorn.

"Oh, I--" Jaskier says, and considers. "No, when you put it like that, I can see the cause for your sentiment. In the right context, that might even be tragically compelling. Thanks for that!"

"Thanks for _what,"_ Lambert stresses, voice rising in patched-over peaks. "You didn't get anything from me! _Geralt!_ I haven't given him jack shit!!"

"Oh, my dear Wolf," Jaskier replies upwards, in a full deploy of what Geralt's privately taken to calling his obfuscating sincerity, "You have provided me so _much_ already."

_"--Geralt,"_ Lambert says.

Geralt debates the matter of leaving Lambert to his fate. He won't actually, but Lambert isn't to know that. He looks over his shoulder back towards the door.

"Geralt!!! I am betrayed _only_ _once_!!" Lambert howls like a creature just-wounded.

It hits him in the gut, because he both recognizes it's true and it winds him in the stomach _while_ he recognizes it's ridiculous and it winds him in the throat that other way, and the total sum of it leaves him gasping. He at least manages to hook Jaskier by the arms and haul him away across the courtyard nonetheless, despite increasingly louder protestations. He can always explain after he catches his breath

* * *

"Geralt, will you-- I finally had him! Do you know how long it took me to figure the trick to getting him off of the roof?"

Geralt shakes his head. "We've got a bargain. Only way to get him to tolerate having you here in the first place."

Jaskier peers out to see Lambert swing down from the tree and streak off to freedom like a still-pursued animal. He groans in disappointment before turning, straightening his cuffs. "Are you to rescue him from me? That's a very dashing thing to do, I suppose. I am a bit of a rogue."

"For you more than him," Geralt cautions. "Deal's that I'd handle you if you were being too 'bard-y' at him. In exchange, he'd leave it to me to handle and not the way he handled the last bard who tried."

"The _last_ bard? Now those are the sort of anecdotes you ought to be sharing with a man!"

Geralt gestures back towards the courtyard. "Nothing too different. Scruffed the man, climbed up a tall tree, and then left him up there. I think it happened last spring, if you heard of it."

"That's-- Melitele, did Valdo actually go for it? Is that why he came back from sabbatical with a vendetta against the entire subgenre?"

"Couldn't say," Geralt answers. "Does he have a fear of heights?"

"Well, he's certainly gotten one recently-- _ohhhHHHhhh_." Jaskier drops his fist into his palm.

Geralt huffs a small laugh.

"And what was that about betrayal?" Jaskier follows. "It sounded properly dramatic."

"Personal vocabulary. Fairly sure he was just reminding me of his capacity to be unbelievably petty," Geralt attempts to interpret.

"And might I make a counter-offer to secure your loyalty to my cause, instead? Me a rogue, you a turncoat-- we'd match!"

"No."

"Come now, Geralt. I _know_ you think he's being ridiculous about this, I could _hear_ you honking on your own effort not to laugh when you were pulling me away."

Geralt shrugs. "Whether I agree with it or not, he expects loyalty. Makes it worth it."

"How so?" Jaskier asks curiously.

"He expects those who he's given his loyalty to be as loyal as he is," Geralt clarifies. "So he makes it worth it."

Jaskier tilts his head, and then stares out into the courtyard with an expression Geralt thinks is intended to be pensive. Geralt can hear the scrape and dislodged rubble of Lambert passing over above them.

"I'm not giving up, you know," Jaskier says with quiet determination. "I really do think we'll get along, when he gives me the chance."

Geralt nods equitably. "Good luck," he says, "Because he's just made it back to the roof."

Jaskier groans.

* * *

The next day, Jaskier and Lambert have started yelling at each other from across the battlements. Geralt is trying to figure out if that's better.

"--If _some_ are granted more rule of law than others, then the failure is fundamental. So _any_ application is unjust--" Lambert's hanging off of the wall somewhat precariously, having freed a hand to gesture.

"It's a system that's made to grow and change, Lambert! Imperfect application is part of the process!" Jaskier interjects, balanced in a four-limbed crouch. He's been getting steadier at it. "Look, just because the lyrics don't quite fit the tune means you _scrap the whole song--_ "

"I thought them getting along better might make them quieter about it," Geralt says morosely. He and Eskel have moved to the window with the best view. Lambert's yelling something, swinging full-body into his gesture and flipping onto the nearby scaffolding.

Eskel shrugs. Jaskier's cutting in with something, pitched shrilly in a combination of exasperation and the suddenness of harsh winds. At least, Geralt reflects, he looks like he's enjoying himself.

"Let them," Eskel says. "Lambert's having fun."

"--Then what owe I to your _HUMAN RULE OF LAW_ \--" Lambert roars over Jaskier's equally loud protestations.

"Is he?" Geralt asks, tilting his chin towards Lambert. Eskel nods in confirmation.

Jaskier's the louder one now. "--so _you yourself_ are arguing that laws are mutable things while treating them as immutable when rhetorically convenient! I won't let you have it both ways! You've got to pick one--!!"

Lambert's only reply is another loud, guttural snarl.

"Oh, will you _stop with that_ ," Jaskier scolds, and then they're started again.

"I don't think I'll ever understand Lambert," Geralt sighs.

"I think I know the feeling now, Geralt," Eskel says with a dry chuckle, "Because I've got to admit: I have not the first clue what goes on in the head of your bard."

**Author's Note:**

> [cliff notes for ya](https://llerrah.com/cattrap.htm)
> 
> [and an illustrated cliff note for ya!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579724/chapters/60199618)
> 
> "lambert sexually harasses jaskier on meeting" is a fairly popular kaer morhen fic trope but consider: lambert's a canonical tsundere. you ain't getting none of that deredere without surviving first that tsuntsun!!
> 
> if you liked my fic, please remember to leave kudos! 
> 
> (｡òᴗ-)7✧ i like seeing who liked my stuff.


End file.
